Harold made his claims Killed all who did the same Ruled by force of might And never lost a fight There were none who were his rival in the land With the legions of Rome at his command And the fate of the whole world in his hand He'd spent his whole life winning And disregarding the cost Herman spent his days Learning righteous ways Kneeling in his pew Listening to the few He had tried all his lifetime to believe Reading notes he had scribbled on his sleave But he was still scared when it came time to leave He'd spent his whole life waiting for something he feared never come.

Hamburger Helper simmers away Mrs. Buchannon calls her kids in from play Harold comes running in through the door Herman comes in, drags his feet on the floor She tells them to eat and answers the phone Leaving the two boys sitting alone When Herman is finished he gets up from his place A big wad of applesauce lands in his face. Herman meekly wipes off his cheek Once again Harold has conquered the weak Mrs. Buchannon raises her voice to say "Look what a mess you've made! Now go out and play." They met on the battlefield And fought with sword and shield They fought till Herman died His brother stopped and sighed "You fool, did you not know you fought in vain? For no man can ever end my reign. What on earth were you hoping to gain?" Harold wondered at his brother And what made him cross the line News of Herman spread And all learned he was dead Some would start to cry But others just asked why You see his blood had enlivened the land And all in the kingdom raised their hand And Harold was stripped of his command Herman's long wait was over He'd discovered a way to play the game.

© Jonathan Patch and David Tanenbaum